Most adults can probably remember stories their parents and/or grandparents told about family dinners. With all the activities young people are involved in these days, lengthy hours put in at work by either or both parents, and even hours worked by many young people after school, the institution of a "family dinner" has all but disappeared. This is a trend we need to reverse.
Gathering the family together - even if it is only 2 or 3 times a week - is critical to improving relationships and is vital to good communication. There are many ways to stimulate conversation at the table. If talk does not come naturally, you could have a jar with topics in it that someone could pull from - or a similar method of choosing a topic. The topics could range from discussing the highlights of each person's day to discussing local events to the coming state or national elections. The goal is to get everyone involved and talking. Draw everyone into the conversation. If someone is uncomfortable, help them by giving them a little assistance. This could be in the form of stating a fact and asking what he or she thinks of it or how he or she thinks it would affect the family. Gently prod reluctant family members until they get accustomed to sharing with everyone. Make sure everyone knows that the family's conversation stays in the family and they are not to discuss any of the information with friends or other relatives unless the person who shared has given their permission.
Make these dinners fun for everyone, not only with the talk, but by making the dinner easy and something everyone likes. Let everyone participate in preparing the meal. You could have pizza ingredients and let everyone put their favorite toppings on their half of a pizza (or however much they would eat). While the pizza is baking, everyone could help set the table and start the conversation.
Perhaps a taco night is in order. Place Pyrex Storage Plus bowls on a lazy Susan (later, you can snap the lids on to keep the leftovers) and let everyone help load the bowls with chopped tomatoes, shredded cheese, ground beef, chopped chicken, refried beans, shredded lettuce, chopped green onions, and whatever else your family likes on tacos. Of course, the meat would have to be cooked before placing it in the bowls. Again, everyone can pitch in and the conversation can begin the moment you start the preparations - or, you may just discuss the meal and hold the main topic for during the meal.
There are many dinners in which everyone could participate. Sub sandwiches, hamburgers, hot dogs, spaghetti and garlic toast - as the children get older, you can expand the menus. Whatever you have for dinner, you might plan a special dessert one night a week. This could be something one of the family members makes, or a favorite treat you purchase, such as an ice cream cake. I, personally, think a homemade dessert would be very special and it could be rotated to give everyone the experience. Let the person in charge that week plan the dessert and prepare it alone - unless he or she asks for help. It doesn't matter if you have boys or girls - my son could cook pretty well by the time he was thirteen.
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