Most adults can probably remember stories their parents and/or grandparents told about family dinners. With all the activities young people are involved in these days, lengthy hours put in at work by either or both parents, and even hours worked by many young people after school, the institution of a "family dinner" has all but disappeared. This is a trend we need to reverse.
Gathering the family together - even if it is only 2 or 3 times a week - is critical to improving relationships and is vital to good communication. There are many ways to stimulate conversation at the table. If talk does not come naturally, you could have a jar with topics in it that someone could pull from - or a similar method of choosing a topic. The topics could range from discussing the highlights of each person's day to discussing local events to the coming state or national elections. The goal is to get everyone involved and talking. Draw everyone into the conversation. If someone is uncomfortable, help them by giving them a little assistance. This could be in the form of stating a fact and asking what he or she thinks of it or how he or she thinks it would affect the family. Gently prod reluctant family members until they get accustomed to sharing with everyone. Make sure everyone knows that the family's conversation stays in the family and they are not to discuss any of the information with friends or other relatives unless the person who shared has given their permission.
Make these dinners fun for everyone, not only with the talk, but by making the dinner easy and something everyone likes. Let everyone participate in preparing the meal. You could have pizza ingredients and let everyone put their favorite toppings on their half of a pizza (or however much they would eat). While the pizza is baking, everyone could help set the table and start the conversation.
Perhaps a taco night is in order. Place Pyrex Storage Plus bowls on a lazy Susan (later, you can snap the lids on to keep the leftovers) and let everyone help load the bowls with chopped tomatoes, shredded cheese, ground beef, chopped chicken, refried beans, shredded lettuce, chopped green onions, and whatever else your family likes on tacos. Of course, the meat would have to be cooked before placing it in the bowls. Again, everyone can pitch in and the conversation can begin the moment you start the preparations - or, you may just discuss the meal and hold the main topic for during the meal.
There are many dinners in which everyone could participate. Sub sandwiches, hamburgers, hot dogs, spaghetti and garlic toast - as the children get older, you can expand the menus. Whatever you have for dinner, you might plan a special dessert one night a week. This could be something one of the family members makes, or a favorite treat you purchase, such as an ice cream cake. I, personally, think a homemade dessert would be very special and it could be rotated to give everyone the experience. Let the person in charge that week plan the dessert and prepare it alone - unless he or she asks for help. It doesn't matter if you have boys or girls - my son could cook pretty well by the time he was thirteen.
Kamis, 28 September 2017
Jumat, 08 September 2017
Relationships and Communication - Finding the Courage to Say What You Should Say Every Single Day
What if you went outside to the flower garden and found your beloved had died of a heart attack? This happened to a client of mine. She was shocked because her husband was so young and apparently healthy.
It would truly be hard to lose someone like that.
After my friend had buried her husband, she told me all she could think about was what she wished she had said to him or done with him.
She spent the next several weeks telling him how much she loved him, how very much she cared . . . in her thoughts and prayers. It was as if she hoped he could hear her.
If she had had some kind of warning, she might have been able to say what was in her heart . . . before it was too late. But so many times there is no warning.
What can we learn from this kind of experience?
Perhaps it can motivate us to think about what we need to tell our loved ones while we have the chance. Sometimes we want to say certain things, but we simply never get around to it. Other times, we wait for the right time, but it never seems to come.
If we ponder our family and love relationships, think about our friends and colleagues, we should ask ourselves, What hasn't been said that we would like to say?"
A Wonderful Communication Habit
I recommend cultivating the habit of digging down deep and speaking from the heart with all your loved ones . . . on a regular basis. If there is anything that needs to be said, say it. Don't wait.
After all, taking the time to communicate with care, concern and honesty is an act of love.
For some people who have a hard time speaking directly from the heart, this is a difficult task. But it is possible to learn. And the more you do it the easier it gets.
To get started, all you have to do is remind yourself that no one in your life is always going to be there. And you never know when the end of a relationship may come. So . . .
Say what you want to say and say it today!
For example, if you think your daughter is doing a great job as a new mother, then say so and be perfectly clear about it. If you're sorry for neglecting her when she was little, sit down over a cup of coffee or tea and tell her. If you've never given your spouse enough credit for the love and devotion they have given you, say it tonight! If you need to apologize to someone, do it! Why wait for tomorrow?
Tips For Shooting Straight From The Heart
1. The best time to tell someone how you feel is when things are going well and there seems to be no reason to say it.
2. Or say it now - now is often the very best possible time.
3. Keep it simple and be sincere.
4. Say it with a smile or a hug.
5. Let your words touch your loved ones in a special way. Give compliments and praise in a sincere but creative way that celebrates this person's life.
6. Don't be afraid to use the word "love," as long as you remember actions speak louder than words!
Saying what you really want to say is usually easier than you think, if you'll just get started.
Ask yourself how many people, who have moved on, do you wish you could talk with again? What would you tell them?
Give it some thought and let that be a guide for talking with the living.
I hope you will let this article serve as a friendly reminder for you to share your innermost loving thoughts and feelings with people on a regular basis. If you practice this wonderful interpersonal skill every day you will never have to wish you had said something . . . you will have exceptionally healthy relationships, and everyone in your life will know how you feel . . . they will feel greatly valued, respected and supported by you!
It would truly be hard to lose someone like that.
After my friend had buried her husband, she told me all she could think about was what she wished she had said to him or done with him.
She spent the next several weeks telling him how much she loved him, how very much she cared . . . in her thoughts and prayers. It was as if she hoped he could hear her.
If she had had some kind of warning, she might have been able to say what was in her heart . . . before it was too late. But so many times there is no warning.
What can we learn from this kind of experience?
Perhaps it can motivate us to think about what we need to tell our loved ones while we have the chance. Sometimes we want to say certain things, but we simply never get around to it. Other times, we wait for the right time, but it never seems to come.
If we ponder our family and love relationships, think about our friends and colleagues, we should ask ourselves, What hasn't been said that we would like to say?"
A Wonderful Communication Habit
I recommend cultivating the habit of digging down deep and speaking from the heart with all your loved ones . . . on a regular basis. If there is anything that needs to be said, say it. Don't wait.
After all, taking the time to communicate with care, concern and honesty is an act of love.
For some people who have a hard time speaking directly from the heart, this is a difficult task. But it is possible to learn. And the more you do it the easier it gets.
To get started, all you have to do is remind yourself that no one in your life is always going to be there. And you never know when the end of a relationship may come. So . . .
Say what you want to say and say it today!
For example, if you think your daughter is doing a great job as a new mother, then say so and be perfectly clear about it. If you're sorry for neglecting her when she was little, sit down over a cup of coffee or tea and tell her. If you've never given your spouse enough credit for the love and devotion they have given you, say it tonight! If you need to apologize to someone, do it! Why wait for tomorrow?
Tips For Shooting Straight From The Heart
1. The best time to tell someone how you feel is when things are going well and there seems to be no reason to say it.
2. Or say it now - now is often the very best possible time.
3. Keep it simple and be sincere.
4. Say it with a smile or a hug.
5. Let your words touch your loved ones in a special way. Give compliments and praise in a sincere but creative way that celebrates this person's life.
6. Don't be afraid to use the word "love," as long as you remember actions speak louder than words!
Saying what you really want to say is usually easier than you think, if you'll just get started.
Ask yourself how many people, who have moved on, do you wish you could talk with again? What would you tell them?
Give it some thought and let that be a guide for talking with the living.
I hope you will let this article serve as a friendly reminder for you to share your innermost loving thoughts and feelings with people on a regular basis. If you practice this wonderful interpersonal skill every day you will never have to wish you had said something . . . you will have exceptionally healthy relationships, and everyone in your life will know how you feel . . . they will feel greatly valued, respected and supported by you!
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